What’s the difference between manageable and toxic stress?
Stress is a normal part of life—it can even help protect us in some cases. But going through difficult situations without enough support can create an extreme level of stress that keeps a child’s body on high alert even after it’s over.
The scale of stress
Our stress response is actually designed to help us handle challenging situations. When we sense danger or discomfort, our brain sets off an alarm to prepare and protect us. For kids, everyday stress is usually balanced out by support they get from a parent or loved one.
Toxic stress needs additional specific types of support to get through it. Without this support, kids not only have a hard time processing tough stuff they’re going through, but they can struggle with long-term challenges too.
Understanding how everyday stress is different from toxic stress can help you know when your child might need extra support.
Causes
Manageable Stress
New experiences or events, like meeting new people, learning a new skill, starting daycare, getting shots, visiting the doctor, or being injured
Toxic Stress
Serious, long-lasting, or repeated stress that builds up due to challenging or traumatic experiences like: divorce, loss of a loved one, violence, abuse, neglect, or being around substance use
Behavioral Effects
Manageable Stress
Can help with development, confidence, coping skills, and learning how to respond and adapt to challenging situations
Toxic Stress
Can build up, make it harder to regulate emotions, lead to more frequent outbursts, and present other behavioral challenges
Physical Effects
Manageable Stress
Short-term increased heartbeat, breathing rate, blood pressure, blood sugar levels, and stress hormones
Toxic Stress
Stuck on high alert and unable to regulate their emotions, long-term—impacting their ability to grow and thrive
Recovery
Manageable Stress
Can be resolved by the child—plus, when they understand what turns on their stress alarm and how their body reacts, they learn how to process new events and know when they’re in trouble
Toxic Stress
Requires extra support from a parent or caregiver to unload the emotional weight and, in some cases, additional support from a teacher, school administrator, doctor, other medical provider, or community resources